Vancouver Pitch Mistaken for 'a Very Flat Park' by Three Confused Joggers
BC Place groundskeepers say it's the fourth incident this week. 'They keep asking where the dogs go.'
VANCOUVER — BC Place has temporarily increased security after three joggers reportedly entered the stadium pitch on Tuesday morning, mistaking the immaculately groomed surface for 'a really nice park, eh.'
'One of them tried to walk a poodle across the centre circle,' said head groundskeeper Marie-Claude Boivin. 'Another asked where the splash pad was. The third one just lay down and started reading a book.'
BC Place officials confirmed the joggers were politely escorted off the pitch and offered complimentary maple-flavored apologies.
The stadium will host five World Cup matches, including a Round of 32 fixture, after which the pitch is expected to be 'returned to the people, possibly with a few cones still on it.'
Satire. The Pitch Onion is a fictional publication. No coaches, players, joggers, or Belgians were harmed in the writing of this article.